It’s An Art To Manipulate People
If you are here to learn how to manipulate people, relax, it doesnt hurt to know the art of manipulating, just as long as you dont turn into a psycho master manipulator who uses people to his own advantage.
When we hear of people who manipulate, the first thing that comes to our minds is that these are psychopaths and narcissists who want to spread evil. To be honest, there is a fine line between manipulation and being evil. When someone is keeping you from achieving something you want, manipulation comes in really handy. If you keep on being the nice guy, people will keep throwing you off the edge. The smart way is to watch out for yourself and know the art of manipulating people.
Remember, not anyone can successfully do it. Thats why it is called an art. Manipulation only works when the other person does not even get that he is being manipulated. You dont want to get caught manipulating people in any case, right? We hear this most of the time — that manipulating people is a bad thing to do. Yes, it is, if its too much. Dont feel bad, if you want to learn how to manipulate people for your survival, its always worth it.
Here are 15 tactics to psychologically manipulate people in undetectable ways:
Master Your Own Emotions
If you cant control yourself, you will become the target of your own manipulation game, and we dont want that, right? You need to laugh, cry and show anger when necessary. You must always be ready to pull an act. Develop skills within yourself to use emotions on demand. These skills can save you from lots of troubles let alone manipulate people. Thats why women in most relationships can get a man to do anything they want.
But Arent We All Manipulative To Some Degree
Michael Frank: I know someone is going to say something to the effect of:
But arent we all manipulative to some degree?
What are your thoughts on that?
Dr. George Simon: Absolutely. We are all manipulative to some degree. You know we are inherently, unfortunately, kind of aggressive creatures. This is a not so friendly world we are living in where we have to do our best to survive and prosper, and were in competition with each other, and were all trying to get our own way, and were not always very nice to each other. But its about how we go about the fight. I always like to say in workshops that all the major theories in our traditional psychologies are all about peoples insecurities and fears and the things they run and hide from. But we barely have a psychology that addresses the number one thing that people do in their lives: FIGHT. We fight more than we do anything else. Its in our politics. Its in our business affairs. Its in our social affairs. Its in almost everything we do. But how we conduct that fight is what defines our character.
When we fight fairly for something just, when its not really about us but about some valid principle, when we fight with consideration for the feelings and the welfare of the other person, and when we respect certain rights and boundaries, then that by definition is assertive behavior, and we all need to be assertive because there are some things in this life were fighting for.
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Use The Fear And Relief Technique To Tackle People
This is one of the well-researched manipulation techniques that you can use in your interest. It involves playing with the someones emotions. It can surely cause stress and anxiety but that makes this technique efficient. So, when the one who you trying to manipulate is about to give up, go ahead and give them your shoulder to cry on. You are trying to change their mood and leave them completely disarmed to manipulate them. When this happens successfully, your target will do what whatever you want them to.
Integrating Your Manipulative Tendencies
The worst self-manipulation is believing you have no drive and willingness to manipulate others.
It might seem counterintuitive, but accepting your own manipulative tendencies is the very first step to becoming a bigger force for good in the world.In short, accepting your own dark side is a necessary step of self-development.
As Jordan Peterson said:
Jordan Peterson: by denying the worst in yourself, you preclude the possibility for the best
Peterson is talking about aggression here. But its the exact same for manipulation.
The inability to manipulate doesnt make you virtuous. It only makes you ignorant of human nature.-The Power Moves
Its the ability to manipulate and to willingly avoid using it for harmful goals that make you moral.
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Repeat Things Back To People
One of the best ways to show someone that you really understand how they feel is to paraphrase what theyve said and repeat it back to them.
This is a communication strategy called reflective listening, and it is often used by counselors and therapists to reconstruct what the client is thinking and feeling and to relay this understanding back to the client. Research has shown that when therapists use reflective listening, their clients are more likely to open up and display more emotion.
Youre Doubting Your Own Reality
Manipulation has many facets, but Balestrieri says one of the most important is gaslighting, which is a conversational tactic designed to separate you from your gut instinct or logical appraisals of the world.
McCoy says that if youre feeling yourself questioning your integrity or sanity, thats a sign that somethings wrong and manipulation may be occurring.
When you doubt your reality, it makes it easier for a manipulator to convince and persuade you to align with their vision, Balestrieri continues. The sole purpose of gaslighting is to separate someone from their own reality and elicit doubt in their minds, or the minds of others, so that the person who is gaslighting can get away with something or retain the upper hand when it comes to the perceived control of others.
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Theyve Managed To Get Your Friends And Family On Their Side
Balestrieri cautions that its not just the bad traits we need to keep an eye out for. Watch for ingratiating behaviors or other attempts to be seen in a favorable light, as this is often a deliberate attempt to drive more isolation between the victim and their support system by creating the illusion of doubt. She offers an example: The first person to write Happy birthday! on your grandmothers social media page cant be a manipulative or abusive person, right? Wrong! Impression management is a daily endeavor for the manipulator, who works hard to make others like them as a shield.
She says manipulators may reach out to loved ones or close friends without telling their partner. If it were a positive gesture, it would end in more fun outings or a wider social circle for both partners in the couple. Instead, its manipulation when those side conversations put up a smoke screen, increase in-fighting, or worsen isolation. In such cases, the victims family and friends may be unwitting pawns in a psychological game the manipulator is trying to win.
They Engage In Intellectual Bullying
If someone overwhelms you with statistics, jargon, or facts when you ask a question, you may be experiencing a type of emotional manipulation.
Some manipulators presume to be the expert, and they impose their knowledge on you. This is particularly common in financial or sales situations.
- Youre new to this, so I wouldnt expect you to understand.
- I know these are a lot of numbers for you, so Ill go through this again slowly.
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They Use Information Overload In Attempting To Confuse You
Like some textbook narcissists, smart manipulators will overwhelm you with alleged facts that you may know little about. Similar behavior can happen in sales and other business-related discussions, as well.
Unlike a knowledgeable salesperson, however, a manipulator uses this tactic exclusively for their own gain. Theyll make every attempt to establish credibility through their expert knowledge, hoping that theyll be able to control the situation at their will.
If youre in this situation, its a good idea to use your best judgment or simply walk away.
What Dark Psychology Is Not
First of all:
Dark psychology does not allow anyone to surreptitiously control peoples minds, at will, and against the targets will.
This section will dispel some dark psychology myths.
1. Dark psychology is not hypnosis to make anyone do anything
Hypnosis is powerful.
A series of well-placed commands embedded within a distracting word-salad of nonsense can bewilder people enough to give you some control over them.Once they disengage their critical thinking, you can then quickly escalate their compliance until you can successfully ask them to hand over their wallets, for example.Or let you go instead of giving you a ticket, if they are cops.
See here an example for the latter:
This video is impressive.Yet, it also shows hypnosis limitations:
As a matter of fact, I think there are far more reliable ways of talking yourself off a traffic ticket than trying to hypnotize the cop.
2. Dark psychology is not NLP and undercover seduction triggers
Again, there is some truth, here.
3. Dark psychology does not turn anyone into a cult-sect follower
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Standard Manipulations: What We All Do
Standard manipulations are everyday manipulations we all engage in.As a matter of fact, some everyday manipulations are a sign that we are well-adjusted human beings.
- Makeup to look younger for women
- Tailored clothes for men to look at their best
- Talking up our strengths to impress someone with power
Some everyday manipulations are also a sign that we are effective individuals:
- Concealing inappropriate emotions
However, overdoing standard manipulations can make you come across as submissive or nervous.Think for example:
- Smiling when we dont feel like smiling
- Being friendly when we are actually disappointed
- Repeating that we are fine when we are actually angry
These types of overly-social manipulations all communicate that you lack confidence, that you dont respect yourself nearly enough, and that you lack power and assertiveness.
Im Talking About Real Manipulative Psychology
Stuff that enables you to change your own personality and get anyone to do PRECISELY what you want them to do.
Losers, loners and JERKS just like you will be able to learn the real secrets from me. Im talking about…… The SECRET method of REWIRING your personality for complete SOCIAL DOMINANCE: changing how you act, react and feel How to get ANYONE to absolutely LIKE you, RESPECT you, ADMIRE you, and want to be AROUND YOU The psychological tactics for ALTERING anyones thoughts and making them DO what YOU WANT Powerful GUERILLA tricks to turn yourself into an EXTROVERT in just a matter of minutes switch it on and off when YOU want How to USE PEOPLE and how NOT to be USED! Exactly how you can become the BIG MAN in the group and become naturally more attractive to EVERYONE Put ANYONE in ABSOLUTE AWE – and win any SEXUAL partner with your socially superior skills The trick to getting a POSITIVE RESPONSE from anyone, by tapping into special mind techniques you never knew Quick, POWERFUL psychological methods of removing all FEARS and DOUBTS from yourself and others in about 10 seconds Precisely how you can DETACH from caring what other people THINK focusing on the majority, and not giving a toss about the losers The HOT-WIRED techniques for instant RAPPORT with anyone, through a couple of simple changes in your behaviour How to make friends with the MOST INFLUENTIAL people around for your OWN benefit!
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Red Flags: Are You Being Emotionally Manipulated
Emotional manipulation can undermine close relationships and leave the manipulation victim feeling powerless, confused, and frustrated. Yet all people manipulate others from time to timeoften without intending to. And some definitions of emotional manipulation are so broad that they can apply to any behavior, even something as innocuous as a baby crying for food.
So when is an attempt to get ones needs met or to achieve ones goals actually a form of manipulation? And when does manipulation cross the line into emotional abuse? Here are some red flags that may signal a serious relationship problem.
Know Your Fundamental Human Rights*
The single most important guideline when youre dealing with a psychologically manipulative person is to know your rights and recognize when theyre being violated. As long as you do not harm others, you have the right to stand up for yourself and defend your rights. On the other hand, if you bring harm to others, you may forfeit these rights. Following are some of our fundamental human rights:
- You have the right to be treated with respect.
- You have the right to express your feelings, opinions, and wants.
- You have the right to set your own priorities.
- You have the right to say no without feeling guilty.
- You have the right to get what you pay for.
- You have the right to have opinions different than others.
- You have the right to take care of and protect yourself from being threatened physically, mentally, or emotionally.
- You have the right to create your own happy and healthy life.
These fundamental human rights represent your boundaries.
Of course, our society is full of people who do not respect these rights. Psychological manipulators, in particular, want to deprive you of your rights so they can control and take advantage of you. But you have the power and moral authority to declare that it is you, not the manipulator, whos in charge of your life.
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You Begin To Question Your Mental Health
Not only can manipulation cause stress and anxiety, but it can also make you feel confused and insecure about your behaviors and emotions. You may begin to wonder if your reactions are symptoms of mental health conditions.
Manipulation tactics like gaslighting are most often the cause of these feelings.
For example, youre discussing your next vacation with your partner, and they ask why youre not considering Cancun. You remind them that when they visited last time, they say they had a terrible time. They reply, I never said such a thing! You imagined it.
Youre convinced they did complain several times and said they wouldnt return to this place. But maybe you did imagine it? After all, according to your partner, it seems to happen to you often.
When someone constantly gaslights you, you start to question your memory and well-being to the point that youre not sure whether certain things happened at all. Curiously enough, it only seems to happen to you around this person.
Mo Power Mo Manipulation
Dark Psychology can provide the cover for brutality to keep going unchecked.
Countries with bigger budgets engage in dark psychology to control what the world thinks of their wars.By dominating the informational war, more powerful countries can keep engaging in modern-day colonialism and invasions without people realizing what theyre truly up to.
For example, few people in the West would think of Israel as a bullying, invading force. In good part, thats because many major media outlets frame Israel as a victim, and Palestinian fighters are often referred to as terrorists.
Thanks to that friendly support, Israel can continue to wage war with little international blowback and little repercussions.
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Manipulative Touch Oxytocin Bind
Physical touch is critical for our survival and well-being. Babies who dont get enough of hugging, cuddling and carrying fail to thrive and grow optimally. Their right brain does not develop properly.
For those of us coming from abusive homes, we rarely experience the soothing feel of a warm hug or the encouraging pat on our backs. All we receive are whacks and shoves. Thats why we get so easily entrapped in toxic and sexually exploitative relationships.
When I met my partner even after I came to know he was married, I still continued the relationship. It was not the sex, it was the oxytocin transfusion I got from our interaction. My craving to be held was stronger than the red flags warning me of the potential danger. I ignored them to my own detriment.
Touch is ten times stronger than verbal or emotional contact, and most manipulators know how to use it to persuade and con you. When my mother died, this scheming Aunt Molly, came and put her arm around me and consoled me saying dont worry, think of me as your mother. At that moment I was so relieved. However, whenever she wanted me to do something, shed put her arm around me. For a long time, I was duped into compliance.
Additionally, those who have learned Neurolinguistic Programming know the subtle ways to anchor their prey via touch. You may not even be aware of being touched but your subconscious brain immediately releases the cocktail of feel-good hormones, and before you know it you are putty in their hands.