Fear Doesnt Dictate Your Life
For a lot of people, fear controls their lives. But for you, fear is nothing to be afraid of. Its only in our minds and everyone experiences it.
In fact, you believe that fear is an opportunity to grow and experience something new. In your mind, if youre not experiencing fear in your daily life then youre not living right.
Mindset 3 Acknowledge When You Become Intimidated
The foundation of CBT is to first be aware of what were feeling. Sometimes we dont even want to admit to ourselves that were intimidated because it feels silly or were afraid that acknowledging it will make us more nervous.
Research has shown that the opposite is true. If you acknowledge that you do feel intimidated and accept that feeling, it wont be as strong as if you tried to ignore it. After all, you cant remove feelings and most people get intimidated every once in awhile, so why not be okay with it?
Lesson learned: Whenever youre around someone who intimidates you, think: Now Im intimidated, and thats OK. Then you can move forward to face your fears instead of fighting your own feelings.
Article continues below.
Take this quiz and see how you can become more confident
Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond – in less than an hour.
Now that were aware of this feeling and accept it, were ready for the next step.
Theres Always More To Learn
Youre not arrogant. You understand that you dont know it all. After all, its impossible in a world so complex.
Instead, youre curious and willing to listen and learn. In your eyes, wisdom is gained from all walks of life, and someone always has something to teach.
You enter any situation with an open-mind and youre constantly on the lookout for opportunities to grow. This can make close-minded people feel insecure.
QUIZ: Are you ready to find out your hidden superpower? My epic new quiz will help you discover the truly unique thing you bring to the world. .
Don’t Miss: Holt Geometry Chapter 7 Test Answer Key
Power And Control Wheel
Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic abuse and violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of other abusive behaviors by the abuser, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of abuse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill the fear of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the victim’s life and circumstances.
The Power & Control wheel is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by an abuser to establish and maintain control over his/her partner or any other victim in the household. Very often, one or more violent incidents may be accompanied by an array of these other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.
Emotional abuse includes undermining a person’s sense of self-worth through constant criticism belittling one’s abilities name-calling or other verbal abuse damaging a partner’s relationship with the children or not letting a partner see friends and family. You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:
Sexual abuse: involves forcing a partner to take part in a sex act when the partner does not consent. You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:
Improve Your Next Speech
As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:
- Are there any areas for improvement?
- Did I sound or look stressed?
- Did I stumble on my words? Why?
- Was I saying um too often?
- How was the flow of the speech?
Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, youll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.
If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:
You May Like: Ccl4 Molecular Geometry
Work On Your Physique
Men are often more intimidating than women because of their size and body shape. Men have broad shoulders and wide stances.
Women tend to try to take up as little space as possible.
Whether you are a man or a woman interested in being more intimidating, working on your physique and getting in shape is a great way to do that.
The Importance Of Safety When Dealing With Intimidating People
Some intimidation can become violent or so coercive that it is damaging to the person being intimidated. It is always absolutely vital to make sure that you are safe when you are with a person who is trying to intimidate you.
If you are going to see someone you find intimidating, bring someone else with you. Dont face them alone because you really dont know what they will do. They could choose that time to take the intimidation to the next level.
QUIZ: Does he really love you? My fun new Zodiac quiz can help you figure it out, based on his Zodiac sign. Check it out here.
You dont want to be a statistic.
Intimidation is a dark activity that is often misunderstood. People think that just because no one got hurt everything is fine. Everything is not fine. People do get hurt.
When you spend time with someone who intentionally tries to intimidate you in order to get something from you that they want, it is incredibly invasive and disrespectful to you.
Dont let them beat you into submission. Learn, prepare, and be ready to face the person intimidating you no matter what they want to throw at you.
Stand strong. Be well.
Don’t Miss: Draw The Lewis Structure For Ccl4
Antisocial Borderline And Narcissistic Personality Disorders
According to Kernberg, antisocial, borderline, and narcissistic personality disorders are all organized at a borderline level of personality organization, and the three share some common characterological deficits and overlapping personality traits, with deceitfulness and exceptional manipulative abilities being the most common traits among antisocial and narcissism. Borderline is emphasized by unintentional and dysfunctional manipulation, but stigma towards borderlines being deceitful still wrongfully persists. Antisocials, borderlines, and narcissists are often pathological liars. Other shared traits may include pathological narcissism, consistent irresponsibility, Machiavellianism, lack of empathy, cruelty, meanness, impulsivity, proneness to self-harm and addictions, interpersonal exploitation, hostility, anger and rage, vanity, emotional instability, rejection sensitivity, perfectionism, and the use of primitive defence mechanisms that are pathological and narcissistic. Common narcissistic defences include splitting, denial, projection, projective identification, primitive idealization and devaluation, distortion ” rel=”nofollow”> minimization and lies), and omnipotence.
Manipulative behavior is intrinsic to narcissists, who use manipulation to obtain power and narcissistic supply. Those with antisocial personalities will manipulate for material items, power, revenge, and a wide variety of other reasons.
Signs Someone Is Trying To Psychologically Manipulate You
People who manipulate others are among the most self-centered people out there. They serve their own interests, and often at the expense of an innocent victim. Methods employed by manipulators can be characterized as abusive, deceptive, devious, and exploitative.
Though their actions are most certainly malicious, manipulators are often both crafty and intelligent. The act of manipulation involves deliberate and complex thought processes something that can only be achieved by a person that leverages human psychology to their advantage.
Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through abusive, deceptive, or underhanded tactics. Harriet Braiker, author of Whos Pulling Your Strings?
Dr. George K. Simon, a clinical psychologist and world-renown expert on manipulators, others with disturbed personalities, and their victims, cite three requirements for successful manipulation:
Concealing aggressive behaviors and intentions.
Understanding the psychological shortcomings of a victim in determining which method will best achieve desired results.
An uncommon degree of ruthlessness having no apprehension about inflicting harm upon an unknowing victim.
Frequently, due to the clever techniques manipulators use, a victim uncovers their intentions through a simple gut feeling. The victim senses something is amiss a feeling they cant quite put their finger on.
Recommended Reading: What Classes Do 11th Graders Take
Mindset : People Dont Like Us For How Good We Are They Like Us For How Good We Make Them Feel
It can be stressful to be around intimidating people and feel that being inferior will make them dislike us. Here everyone has a fancy PhD title and Im just a retail employee or Here everyones tall and Im short.
As Ive written about before, its a losing game to try to make people like us. We want to make people like being around us. It doesnt matter if youre just a retail employee or the shortest in the room:
If you follow the principles of likability , youll become the person of choice to hang out with.
Here are the three main traits of likable people, according to research:
- You show that you like people by being warm towards them
- You listen in an attentive way
- You are relaxed and confident. Being warm and relaxed = charismatic. Being warm and nervous = low value. Therefore, you want to practice being relaxed when you meet people.
Lesson learned: When youre around people who intimidate you, dont fall into the trap of trying to prove yourself to them. That just comes off as needy. Instead, keep to the universal principles of likability.
Now that weve set the foundation with these two mindsets its time to follow the 5 steps below, based on cognitive behavioral therapy , to become better at dealing with anyone whos intimidating.
CBT is a well-researched field and is used by psychologists all over the world when it comes to changing behavior and dealing with feelings.
How Do You Trick Someone Psychologically
40 Sneaky Psychological Tricks That Will Always Give You the Upper Hand
Don’t Miss: What Is The Molecular Geometry Of Ccl4
Mindset 6 View That Person From The Perspective Of That Persons Shortcoming And From The Perspective Of Your Strengths
Now weve come far, and its time to put it all together.
Weve realized that
you dont need to take it personally when someones intimidating because its often just their defense against the world.
you want to focus on making people like being around you rather than them liking you.
the best way to deal with the feeling of intimidation is to 1) acknowledge it and 2) to accept it 3) face it anyway.
Article continues below.
What type of social overthinker are you?
Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond – in less than an hour.
even intimidating people have several shortcomings when you look for them.
you have several areas where you are better than the intimidating person.
With these realizations in mind, we can shift the way we approach someone whos intimidating.
I want you to practice seeing that person from the perspective of its shortcomings, and from the perspective of your strengths. Some of my participants are first hesitant to do this exercise because they think that its a misrepresentation of reality. After all, in their world, theyre down there and the intimidating person is up there.
Mini exercise: Take a moment to close your eyes and visualize your relationship from your strengths and from that persons weaknesses.
~Visualization pause~
So, youre back? Nice!
Now its time for the final step to seal the deal.
He’s Got A Firearm And He’s Shouting And Screaming That He’s Gonna Turn The Gas Taps On And Kill Himself And Everybody Else
I’ve been in armored trucks where we’ve driven right up to somebody’s window. He’s got a firearm, and he’s shouting and screaming that he’s gonna turn the gas taps on and kill himself and everybody else. You could easily give up, but you don’t. It’s a case of, “Look, we’re not going anywhere you’re not going to do that the gas has been turned off in the street so that isn’t going to work. The truck is armored you’re not going to injure anyone in here.” Eventually, you wear them down.
Fortunately, I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve lost somebodywhether to suicide or kidnapping or anything like that. I don’t know how I’d have coped.
Interviews are different again. Part of the interview technique is silence. It makes people uncomfortable. I’ve known to kick people under the table when they start to talk to remind them .
Illustration by Cei Willis
Recommended Reading: What Does G Mean In Physics
They Use Information Overload In Attempting To Confuse You
Like some textbook narcissists, smart manipulators will overwhelm you with alleged facts that you may know little about. Similar behavior can happen in sales and other business-related discussions, as well.
Unlike a knowledgeable salesperson, however, a manipulator uses this tactic exclusively for their own gain. Theyll make every attempt to establish credibility through their expert knowledge, hoping that theyll be able to control the situation at their will.
If youre in this situation, its a good idea to use your best judgment or simply walk away.
Be Aware Of Proper Timing And Opportunity
The jaguar is an effective and calculated hunter. Ancestral legacies of success and failure have given it the biological ability of great timing. It knows when to pounce, when to strike hardest, and when to abort its chase.
Know when to make your moves. This is something we learn from a young age . The trick is to actively maintain an awareness and have your eyes constantly scanning for opportunity. For instance, try asking for certain favors when someone is tired or preoccupied .
Dont force opportunities, instead welcome them and keep your eyes open. If youve been waiting to throw a pitch at your boss, dont force the conversation. This may require waiting for weeks before you get a good opportunity, but once you do, dont blow it. When we encounter someone with, say, a proposal, half the battle can already be won or lost depending on their mood in the moment.
Fact: Recently, a study of more than a thousand court decisions found that judges, who ought to be our rational-thinking exemplars, are just as susceptible to this notion as anyone. The study confirmed that prisoners are much more likely to be paroled early in the day or shortly after a lunch break.
Recommended Reading: Geometry Dash Practice Song Hack
What Are The Dangers Of Intimidation
The thing about intimidation is that it is so harmful.
First and foremost, it can lead to physical violence. It can escalate to a serious situation. Even if they yell in your face or shove you, that is still intimidation and it is still scary.
In some states, intimidation can get to the point that it is illegal. Different states have different laws as intimidation relates to intimate relationships as well as criminal activity.
On the federal level, intimidation is named in several laws as an illegal activity. In these cases, such as witness intimidation, the danger is of course tainting the outcome of a trial. Another act, Intimidating voters, undermines the democratic process.
Intimidation can cause you to do something that you really dont want to do. Often, you will be left with regret.
If you are in a relationship where your spouse or boyfriend is intimidating, it can cause problems in other areas of your relationship.
When you are in a situation where someone is intimidating you, it can cause depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and other mental health issues. You may even begin to think that you are crazy, especially if they are gaslighting you.
It may leave you feeling powerless and alone. It can be very hard to put yourself out there again.
QUIZ: What does your man want from you? My fun new quiz will reveal what he REALLY wants based on his Zodiac sign! Take my quiz here.
You Cant Stand People Who Complain
You dont make excuses and because of that dont accept them either, and you expect others to do the same. Youd rather people pull themselves together and deal with their problems, than waste time feeling sorry for themselves. And if you have to work with those people, you feel like theyre also wasting your time.
So you might be blunt and express your opinion to them. Because of that, people might see you as heartless and unempathetic, as if you were a robot who only cares about getting results and is indifferent to the struggles they go through.
There could also be certain characteristics of your personality that are actually nothing but positive. However, they might also be seen as intimidating by some people.
Read Also: Algebra 1 Age Word Problems
How To Deal With An Intimidating Person: 7 Powerful Mindsets
In the survey I did for our upcoming program on confidence, a lot of you asked me how to deal with intimidating people. One comment summed it up pretty well:
What if you become intimidated by individuals or groups who are attractive and/or loud. How do you even begin to put yourself at ease, or stop putting them on a social pedestal, so you can be yourself? Alexis
I got lots of questions about that from both men and women. Some examples that came up was talking to your boss or manager, talk to tall people, good looking people, mean/unpleasant people, and those youre attracted to. The number one example men brought up was talking to women theyre attracted to.
Here is my best advice for you. The advice is collected from studies in the field of cognitive behavioral science and my own experience.
Im also going to bring up examples from intimidating people Ive talked to about the subject, and Ill share what Ive learned from them.
First of all, here are two changes in mindset we need to understand: